• Colorado GOP Counts Paper Ballots in Full View of Voters; Indecent Exposure Charges Are Being Considered (Political Satire/Comedy)

    August 9, 2023
    No Comments

    Image by Oscar.buhl. Paper Ballot Counting!

    Political Satire/Comedy Opinion: In an obscene display of democracy, the Colorado Republican Party state central committee conducted at least two completely transparent votes Saturday.

    Ballots were disturbingly visible throughout the counting process, which was carried out onstage in full view of a hooting and hollering audience. (The proper procedure, according to experts such as Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold, carefully preserves ballot modesty by examining them in a locked room with just a few selected people, or better yet examines them by machine, eliminating any prying human eyes.)

    “Can they DO that?” one voter asked. “I mean, this was blatant counting, right out in the open. There should at least be a warning about sensitive content.” Ballot boxes were reportedly see-through, though at least voters had to prove their identity in order to enter and cast ballots. Volunteers holding the ballot boxes even paraded the transparent boxes up onto and across the stage where naked ballots were counted and totaled.

    The ballot counters defended themselves by pointing out that nobody touched the ballots between the voter and the counters, and the ballots are available to be examined for any tampering.

    Another area of concern is that the ballot counting took many minutes to finish. Stunned members of the public had lawyers check Colorado state statutes to see if elections are allowed to be counted that fast. “I’m pretty sure there’s something in here that says it’s supposed to take weeks,” one commented. “Just like our comrades do in the People’s Republic of Nevada.”

    Political Satire/Comedy Opinion by Cincinnatia, Colorado Free Press Contributor

    ‘NO AD’ subscription for CDM!  Sign up here and support real investigative journalism and help save the republic!  

    SHARE THIS ARTICLE

    Author

    CFP Editorial Team

    The Colorado Free Press Editorial Team comprises several writers and CFP contributors. Articles from CFP Editorial Team are collaborations of multiple writers.
    Subscribe
    Notify of
    guest

    0 Comments
    Oldest
    Newest Most Voted
    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments

    Follow Us

  • Delivering high-interest Colorado news you need to know RIGHT NOW from real people reporting honest, accurate, truthful, and fair facts that are thought-provoking, intriguing and even fun to read!
    © Copyright 2024 - Colorado Free Press
    magnifierchevron-right