• 06/24/2024

    Hawley: Ungovernables Greet Trump at Libertarian Party National Convention

    May 28, 2024
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    By: Mel Hawley, 1776 Returns

    Editor's Note: This article was originally published at 1776 Returns, and it is republished here with permission.

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    In an historical event Saturday night, Republican Party presidential nominee Donald Trump gave the main address at the Libertarian Party National Convention in DC.

    “Become Ungovernable” was billed as this year’s motto for the Libertarian Party National Convention, including a big fat anarchy symbol for the “A.” But that didn’t stop comedian, Dave Smith, from taking the podium, not like @LecternLeader did, but more like Dean Wormer wrangling drunken Delta House members, to tell fellow Libertarians to behave and be respectful when Trump took the stage.  

    “Don’t be like those college, leftist sissies who don’t like free speech,” he said.  

    At least three hours before Trump was scheduled to take the mic, LP delegates, guests, and members of the media began to queue up to go through the US Secret Service security process.  My friends who generously invited me, both party delegates who attended the whole weekend-long affair, were anxious for me to make it in as the lines spiraled through the lobby.

    I scrambled to find parking, ending up in a parking garage right across from the Washington Hilton with a cheap $10 price for the area.

    I arrived at the event just in time, finding myself in line with a peculiar mix of libertarians and MAGA enthusiasts, feeling like I was caught in the middle of a political potluck. 

    Nearing the entry point, one of my friends pointed out that, unlike the Capitol on January 6, this was a “properly restricted area.”

    As we approached the final gauntlet, we were greeted by a graveyard of water bottles and rubber chickens, both apparently deemed to be weapons of mass destruction and, therefore, not allowed.

    Looks like one made it in.

    The friendly Secret Service agents wanded us as the TSA pilfered purses and wallets. We made it through unscathed. No Quad S treatment (IYKYK). The first award of the night was only a few steps away at the cash bar, and I was tasked with acquiring the beverages while my cohorts went to scout seats.   

    After I purchased drink tickets and secured the spirits, I stealthily balanced all three cups and made my way into the ballroom.

    This was no Trump rally.

    Rows of your typical hotel conference, padded chairs filled the room, and aside from a decent amount of the standard red MAGA hats, this could have been any hotel convention.  I spied my friends in the back row and headed toward them.  

    After dispersing the drinks, I decided to explore a bit, feel out the crowd, look for other recognizable faces, and search out a closer seat. 

    Frankly, it had the feel of a big cocktail party, or maybe even a wedding reception where all the family members don’t get along so well.  

    The first friendly face I recognized was my buddy, The Deep State Marauder himself, Ivan Raiklin. We shared a big grin from across the room, and I headed over.  Ivan is always a fun partner in crime. Once I spotted him, I knew tomfoolery was in the forecast. 

    Ivan was hot off the Flynn Movie tour, which looked to me to have been quite the grueling travel schedule, nonetheless, he still had peak energy and a Merry (or Smeagol) misdemeanor.  

    Jockeying through the crowd, we spotted investigative journo, Vicky Richter, across the room, so Ivan and I went to exchange pleasantries before stopping to chat with some more friends and admirers.

    That’s when I spotted the beast. The Daily Beast, that is. Looking down, I saw a woman donning a media lanyard sitting right in the crowd at the end of the row. I interrupted Ivan’s convo to let him know that marauding was in our immediate future.  You see, Ivan just had a particular video go viral in which he marauded an NPR journalist.   The Daily Beast prospect left him salivating.

    I’ve known Ivan for a couple years, but in the past week, I’ve had four friends reach out and ask me if I know Ivan. All due to that viral video. In case you aren’t already one of his 50 million views… 

    Ivan’s Viral Deep State Marauding Video

    By the way, the Beast’s seat became my seat after Ivan was done with her, and she scooted back to the media peasant section where she belonged. Mission accomplished.  

    I settled into my newly acquired, much better seat and struck up a conversation with my neighbor. A resident of Virginia’s 10th District, like myself. “Need a drink?”  he asked. “I sort of front loaded on drink tickets.” A Prosecco would be nice. I guess I should pound this vodka. These Libertarians were getting rowdy. When in Rome, and all that. 
    About that time, Based Mike Lee, the Republican congressman from Utah, took the stage. He surprised me by announcing he would be introducing his own End the Fed bill this week. First Rep. Massie, and now Rep. Lee. When did #EndTheFed become such a cause de célèbre? I couldn’t be happier. 

    If you’ve seen my podcast, Unite the Fight, you might know that #EndTheFed is what brought me and my co-host, Harrison Schultz together, and it’s Harrison’s wheelhouse. Libertarian Ron Paul red pilled me on the Federal Reserve Bank in 2010 and Harrison hosts Fedcast every Saturday with a focus on #EndTheFed. 

    Anyone else need another drink? You buy, I’ll fly. Two more drink tickets were slipped to me like a joint around the bonfire, and I shortly returned with another Prosecco and some sort of bougie beer for my new friend. I just know it wasn’t Bud Light.  

    The Libertarians were getting restless, rowdier, or just drunker at this point. 

    That’s when this guy caught the attention of all the MSM camera bots. They were looking for some action. Anything to make sure no one thought MAGA and the Libertarians could actually co-exist. He’s as tall as he appears, too. At my request, he posed expressly for my shot here. 

    Don’t ya think the butterflies on his shirt just scream MK Ultra?? Wink, wink. He is conveniently situated in the very center of the room.

    Our drinks are already empty again? Sheesh. BRB. 

    Of course, while I’m out dealing with bar stuff, Trump finally takes the stage, so, I rush back in. 

    Interestingly, the Orange Man is hitting on topics that seem to be Libertarian leaning. You know, stop the worldwide wars, and stuff? 

    His tone doesn’t quite fit the vibe of a Trump Rally. It’s more reminiscent of his demeanor during meetings with foreign leaders. Makes sense. This isn’t 30k of his adoring fans. There’s gonna have to be negotiations, concessions, and reparations to make this deal work.

    Their demands are right there in his face. He takes the bait. It must be done.

    But don’t mind this from Mar. 5, 2020, when LPN unanimously passed a resolution to ask then President Trump to pardon Ross. And he didn’t.

    Suddenly, a commotion from the front row is followed by cameramen chasing something I can’t see through the middle of the crowd and out the back. Fortunately, it was captured by TimCast News and billed by Drew Hernandez as a “Jerry Springer episode.”

    More on that in a minute.

    Maybe the boos were starting to get to The Donald, but this was where he went next, poking fun at the LPN’s 3% pull in past elections.

    Trump wraps up before I know it, and we’re back to the cocktail party atmosphere. Immediately, MK Ultra drops his sign and disappears like a spy in the night. 

    Everyone begins to depart as I’m caught up in a fascinating conversation with a farmer from Wisconsin over, you guessed it, more cocktails. Hey, it’s the Libertarian way.  

    But wait, who is this character garnering the attention of the crowd? What is the concern? It seems he was the star of the rowdy incident during Trump’s speech. Starchild is his name, and apparently, he’s a central character of past Libertarian Party conventions, even holding positions of governance in the party. I asked him for a sit down.

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    True to Ivan Raiklin’s prediction, Trump received a nomination on the LPN Convention floor Sunday morning. Rumor has it he hadn’t completed the required paperwork. Nonetheless, a Libertarian named Chase Oliver emerged victorious.

    That’s his Clark Kent image. Here’s what he looks like when he puts on his cape.

    Despite Trump’s apparent passive-aggressive jabs at the LPN for their modest 3% maximum share of votes in national elections, there are whispers about the potential impact even a mere 3% can wield on a nation. Those kind of ideas can land you in federal prison, though, these days.

    In the meantime, Ivan’s evil plan seems to be coming together nicely….

    1776 Returns is the premier source of common sense for the 21st century — providing independent news, analysis, opinion, and humor in the midst of a New American Revolution. Mel Hawley in an independent investigative journalist and founder of Sovereign Souls Media, home of Justice in Jeopardy, a podcast for the voices of J6, and Unite The Fight, a podcast bringing both sides together to defeat our common enemy.

    All opinions expressed in this article are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Colorado Free Press.

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