• 05/21/2024

    Open Primaries Were A Terrible Idea, But Now They Are Law, Too Bad They Can’t Be Changed (Political Satire/Political Humor Opinion)

    July 31, 2023
    1 Comment
    Image by SecretName101 Open Voting Primaries vs How we used to vote in Primary Elections


    Some people have tried to find ways where Republicans don’t have to share their primaries with everyone like women have to share their bathrooms with everyone. But, it is hopeless, there is no solution, and these people should just give up.

    Joe Mackenfritz, longtime Republican stalwart, explained why Republicans are stuck with open primaries. “I do understand, the 2016 law that opened the primaries was a terrible law. I was completely against it. But now it is law, and can’t be changed, like that Roe v. Wade law which the Supreme Court made. That one was quite tragic, but you just can’t change a law.” Mackenfritz went on to explain that since laws are obviously legal, changing a law is against existing law, and thus illegal.

    “Lex rex – we are ruled by law, and the law is perfect. It’s sort of like AI, it gets made by humans and then it takes on a life of its own and rules over us. You can’t change the law anymore than you can reprogram escaped AI.”

    This reporter inquired whether it was possible to just unplug the law. Mackenfritz looked shocked. “Certainly not! And people who talk about changing laws are working against our law, which is illegal, which makes them domestic terrorists or something. They need to be disarmed.“

    On being asked whether that was against the Second Amendment, Mackenfritz agreed. “But that’s an amendment, see, to the Constitution, which means the Constitution can be changed, so it is not a law, it is a living document. Not only can you change it, you can even kill it!”

    Mackenfritz sighed. “Understand that there’s nothing I’d like better than to close our primaries, but it’s just illegal, see?” He then hurried off to an appointment to discuss with the Democrat Party who will be selected by the primaries this year.

    Political Satire opinion by Cinncinatia

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    Clifford M. Reid Jr.

    This Joe Mackenfritz Doesn't know his Constitution at all!! And since he doesn't even care about it, he is a traitor as defined by law. When he was elected, he was supposed to take an oath to support and defend the Constitution. IF he didn't take the oath, he does NOT belong in ANY elected office and the LAW REQUIRES he be kicked out! If he DID take the oath, he belongs in jail for treason for VIOLATING HIS OATH OF OFFICE. Let me be clear. The law of taking the Oath of Office to defend our Constitution is the FIRST law PASSED by the FIRST CONGRESS and signed into law by the FIRST PRESIDENT of the United States, President GEORGE WASAHINGTON. It's the strongest law in this nation and prevents bad actors from committing treason if properly enforced. This man belongs in jail with all the rest of those who are violating that sacred oath of office. They are DISHONORABLE TO THEIR CORE!!

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